Random #1
We just picked up our tray of food and were scanning for table in the food court. "Lets sit over there," my friend said. So we headed for the open area. She, carried two drinks while I had the tray of our plates. She walked along the food court perimeter and I suddenly took a left going between the tables.
Holding the tray and walking in this narrow area was difficult and I looked over at my friend thinking, 'she must be wondering why I am going this way.' Even I was wondering why I turned. Then I saw her walk by a large man and the area where she was walking seemed narrower and more compromising than the alternate route I had taken.
In reality there was more space where she had gone, but its all a matter of comfort. I had seen the man coming and knew my hands were full and I would have to walk near him to pass. The thought didn't consciously hit me, I just avoided the situation and turned.
The realization that I was altering my course because my hands were full, I could not defend myself and I was about to pass a man in close proximity, shaked me up a bit. 'I must be suffering some kind of post tramatic syndrom from living in Egypt if I'm thinking this way,' I thought.
In Egypt, I often walked by men in the street or the metro. I was always gaurded and ready to respond to any interaction. I can't say I know what I would've done but I was always ready to grab a wrist, knee someone, anything depending on the situation.
Funny, as i dont know how to fight and my size is petite.
Being back in the US has helped me relax for sure. It's pretty exhausting going out in Egypt. Hawaii has helped my spirit be even more at ease with the Aloha of the people and the beauty of the island.
I wonder if these weird instincts will go away or if they are good for anything.
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