What Word Best Describes Hitting Your Wife?

So in one of my English classes today the topic of spouse abuse came up. It was very casual and not a big deal and I was amazed at how it came up and then we moved on.

The exercise was to create a sentence saying what someone asked you not to do. One of the men in the class said his daughter asked him not to hit her little brother. So we laughed at how the little girl was protective of her little brother when he got in trouble. I told him the word to use was spank and not hit, as hit, is something you do to other men in the street.

So you spank for your kids on the bottom lightly and you say hit if you are punching a man in the face.

He then asked, "What about your wife?" To clarify what kind of hit that was.

Now please know that this man is a very nice looking young man and is very good in English. He doesn't seem rough and tough or mean or anything. So I was shocked for a second. But then something rose in me to grab this opportunity. I told him that there was no word for hitting your wife because a man should never ever hit his wife. It was quite matter of fact, like I was stating some grammar rule. You never say it this way...

I stopped there to see what he would say. He was quite, so I repeated myself and looked at the faces of the women in the room. They watched to see what would happen next. He smiled, kinda confused.

I then started to explain that when a man and woman get married they trust each other and are totally open to each other. If a man hits his wife he breaks that trust and she will not trust him after that.

He understood what I said and nodded, he had a far off look on his face. Then he said, "But this happens in Africa." I nodded and said, "Yes, it happens in America too. But the woman still will not trust the man after he hits her. Isn't it the man's job to protect his wife from everything and other men?"

"Yes," he said.

"Well, then if he will not protect her from himself and go and hurt her than she cannot trust him. Her heart will be broken. She will still have to be his wife but inside she is broken and will not be able to trust him."

He nodded and again said, "But this happens in Africa." And again I said, "yes it happens all over." I looked at the women and their faces were less intense, and they seemed glad I said what I did. We moved on with the lesson and den class was pau (finished).